Three short ones

In lieu of three posts, here's a conglomeration of what I've watched lately. The Ten (David Wain, 2007) I am the queen of hyperbole; for instance, how many times can I say that a movie was one of my most anticipated of the year? Add another one to the total. The Ten is the comedy of the year, from David Wain (The State< Stella, Wet Hot American Summer, all of which I am a fanatic for) and Ken Marino. Here's a comedy that's foul, juvenile, and sacreligious, all without being too stupid. Everyone and their mom is in this movie, from Jessica Alba (cute and surprisingly funny) to Winona Ryder to Justin Theroux as Jesus. Ten vignettes, each interpreting a commandment. Wain said he wanted to make a funny version of The Decalogue, and he most definitely succeeded. Hilarity on the level of Wain's other projects abounds. 9/10 Tenebre (Dario Argento, 1982) If you ever visit the actual site, you'll probably notice the new header, a beautiful brunette sitting at a table, holding a gun with an almost indescribable expression: part fear, part laughter, part sadness. This is my favorite moment from Tenebre, Argento's incredibly beautiful giallo masterpiece. It's suspenseful (I didn't see the end coming, for sure), but more than that, it shows the beauty that is possible in horror movies. When one character falls through a mirror with her throat slit, right into the camera, it's more stunning than anything else. Not to sound like a serial killer or anything. Argento topped himself here, horror with a surprise ending that satisfies the gore enthusiast as well as the cineaste. 9/10 Martin (George A Romero, 1977) Finally, George A Romero's problematic, but rewarding, Martin, about a young man who thinks he's a vampire. Is he, or is he just insane? Well, he gets the blood from his victims with the use of a razorblade with fangs, only one of the clever details in the film. But while the details are solid, the movie as a whole is less so. Martin changes mid-film, from a scared/scary young man who never speaks more than three words at a time to a man who enters a relationship with a married woman without wanting to kill her. How? Why? Martin's character is unfufilled; I wanted to know something about his past, how he came to believe he is (or be) this creature. But the very last scene is one of the best examples of dramatic irony I've ever seen, so I recommend seeing it if only for that. 7/10

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The Stendhal Syndrome (Dario Argento, 1996)

Last year, I wrote a really big paper in a women's and gender studies class on the rape-revenge cycle, and Argento's mid-period The Stendhal Syndrome really made me wish I had seen it earlier, so I could have included it in my study. Starring Dario's daughter Asia (whom frequent readers will know I am enamored with), it is a return to form after some disappointing efforts on Argento's part (I thought Trauma was pretty boring and not very scary), and it was during a period where Asia was pretty prolific (including Traveling Companion, her Italian Academy Award-winning performance). It's the story of Detective Anna Manni (Asia was 20 during filming, so she's not very convincing, but oh well), who is in Florence investigating a rapist-murdered. She is quickly captured by the suspect, who rapes and would murder her, but she escapes. After that, something inside of Anna snaps, and she starts going to a psychologist. Even with professional help and a visit to her hometown, things aren't right for Anna. To say much more about the plot would be to ruin it, as there are some shocks that shouldn't be revealed. Asia always seems really comfortable while being directed by her father, even though Dario caught some flak for directing several disturbing rape scenes with his daughter. The movie is dark and murky (although some of that might be Troma's fault, as this is a pretty terrible transfer), and while Thomas Kretschmann as the villain is pretty terrifying, even more so is Anna Manni's Stendhal Syndrome. The syndrome is when paintings have a hallucinogenic effect on an individual, and Anna's involves being able (actually, not being unable) to step into paintings, even while things are happening in real life. The CGI is actually used to pretty good effect, especially in the scene where Anna thinks she's drowning. The scares in this film are psychological and physical, and Anna's response to her rape is really stunning, something not seem much in film. This is a film that is both entertaining on the surface, and could definitely be analyzed in a much deeper way. I recommend this to any fan of Argento, and horror (especially feminist horror!) in general. 8/10 RIYL: Suspiria, I Spit on Your Grave (theme-wise)

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Jenifer (Dario Argento, 2005)

For his episode of Showtime's brilliant (in concept, not always in execution) series Masters of Horror, Dario Argento takes a teleplay written by Steven Weber, who also stars, about a deformed girl named Jenifer who has strange powers over men. Jenifer's face is rather horrifying, especially the first time you see it, and she is unable to talk and often acts like an angry cat. Weber plays a police officer who saves her from being murdered, then falls victim to her powers (even after she does things like eat his cat). And that's pretty much it. The gore, of which there is a pretty good amount, is realistic looking, but there aren't really any actual scares. Nor does the audience ever find out any more about Jenifer than what she does in the present. I was dying to know how she got deformed, where these powers come from, and even if she was human or not, but the audience never gets that much. It's all surface here, which is entertaining enough, but not enough to make it one of the better MOH episodes I've seen. Speaking of which, Takashi Miike's banned Imprint comes out on DVD September 26th, and I haven't been this excited to see a movie since...I don't know. I'm just psyched. So, unless you're a die-hard horror/Argento fan (which I am), you might want to pass on Jenifer. 6/10

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