Knocked Up (Judd Apatow, 2007)

Remember when I said Hostel Part Two was my most anticipated movie of 2007? Well, Knocked Up was second on that list. And instead of a real review, I present: Things I Learned From Knocked Up. 1. Women really want to have babies. This is number one for a reason. Alison (Katherine Heigl, who is actually far better and more likeable than I expected) has no reason to have a baby with Ben (Seth Rogen, more on him later), but she does anyway. With no explanation. Let me repeat, no explanation. She's a young professional who is not in a relationship, yet she decides to keep this baby. I'm not saying she should have gotten an abortion (which is referred to in only the shadiest of terms, "taking care of it," etc.), but some, any explanation of why the hell Alison would keep this baby would be nice. This isn't nit-picking, I don't think, just the most basic of character development. 2. Women are all whiny bitches, or Judd Apatow does not understand women. It's one or the other. I'm leaning toward the latter. Not only is Alison a shell of a character, more or less, even worse is Leslie Mann's character, Alison's sister Debbie. She's barely there (what does she do except sit around the house and go out at night?), she's superficial, a total bitch, and exceptionally whiny all the time. There is literally nothing in her character that made her likeable to me, or explained why her husband Pete (Paul Rudd, we'll get to him soon enough) loved her. Or why anyone would want to be around her ever. Besides the hormonal-woman jokes (and we all know how utterly hilarious those are), there's nothing to Debbie. If I was Mann, Apatow would be in the doghouse for that empty character. 3. Unfortunately, Seth Rogen can not yet carry a movie. Unlike Steve Carell, Apatow's last unlikely leading man, Rogen isn't at that point yet where I cared enough about his character to remain invested in the movie. He's more annoying than endearing, and I resent the implication that, because he is 23 and doesn't have his life figured out, he's a loser. I know plenty of 23-year-olds without their lives figured out (myself to be in their ranks in a few months), and they're just fine, thank you. 4. Paul Rudd is amazing. Okay, I didn't need this movie to teach me that, but he was the definite highlight of the movie. Every single line of his, almost, had me in tears. Can he please be a leading man, like now? I don't know many girls not in love with him. 5. If you just stay with the father of your baby, who you barely know and seems like a terrible fit for you, everything will turn out fine! Really! I know (okay, hope) Apatow didn't mean for this movie to fit in with the right-wing, anti-choice agenda, but it does. 100%. The title of this point isn't an exaggeration, but the moral of the movie. The more I think about it, the more upset I get. 6. The 40 Year Old Virgin was a great movie. Where did that Judd Apatow go? All my (huge) problems aside, there are some hilarious moments in the movie, enough to make it worth seeing, but don't be expecting too much. I certainly was. 6/10

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