Hot three-way (review) action

The opening scene of Belle de Jour is one of the most clever scenes I can remember seeing. At first, it's a normal scene of marital discontent; then, it's a horrifying scene of domestic abuse, as the woman's husband has the coach drivers carry her into the woods, tie her up, and then (presumably) rape her; it gets a lot more interesting when the woman seems to be into it; and finally, it's revealed that this is all a dream (or a fantasy) by the wife. Director Luis Bunuel seems to have tapped into the forbidden nature of transgressive female sexuality in the 60s -- a wife wasn't expected to like sex, much less have hot dreams about being tied up and raped by strangers. But the rest of the film sorely fails to live up to the promise in the first scene. The young wife, Severine (played by a radiant Catherine Deneuve -- she's always beautiful, but her skin seems exceptionally smooth and bright in this film), won't have sex with her husband, but after she hears about a brothel in the middle of Paris, she goes there and gets hired as Belle de Jour in order to live out her fantasies. It's never quite explained why she won't have sex with her husband, but nevertheless, the movie turns into an episode of Law and Order: SVU after Severine falls for a young thug who comes to see her at the brothel all the time. It's almost as if she's punished for expressing her sexuality the way she does, a move I would expect from a morality piece, but not from Bunuel. The final scene moves away from that moralistic judgement of Severine, but not enough to turn my opinion competely. 7/10 There's no way I could try to defend The Gore Gore Girls as a good movie. Instead, it's relatively entertaining and the epitome of all things H.G. Lewis. The story of a strip club (sort of, the girls are almost never topless and certainly never bottomless) that's being tormented by the brutal murders of their dancers, reporter (maybe? maybe he's just a gent who likes solving mysteries?) Abraham Gentry is recruited for $20,000 by young, hot Nancy Weston from a local newspaper to solve the mystery. I could have sworn that Gentry was supposed to be gay, because he seems really averse to women and is quite the dandy in mannerisms, but the final scene begs not. Anyway, you don't watch a H.G. Lewis film for plot or believeable characters or any of that. The gore is here in full-effect, the goriest Lewis film ever (one of the first rated-X horror films, apparently), and even though it doesn't look real, there's still face-ironing, bare asses being tenderized, an eye gouged, put back in the head, and then taken out again, and much more. It's funny and gross at the same time. So if you can bear some of the worst acting ever (I prefer the ridiculous over-acters to the ones that don't seem like they know they're in a movie) and definitely the worst stripping ever (weirdo dancing to circus music for five minutes that isn't remotely sexy), The Gore Gore Girls is for you. 5/10 By the same token, there's no way I can defend I Know Who Killed Me as a good movie. Maybe there's something about horror movies about strippers that just doesn't work? But for the same reasons I didn't mind watching The Eye remake, I had a good, mindless time watching this one -- and I even watched it all at once (which I don't often do, to be honest). Reason one: I like Lindsay Lohan. I don't know why. I always have, and I was sincerely disappointed when she had that bad summer last year. But she seems to be (more) on track these days, even if she did just win the Razzie for worst actress. I didn't think she was terrible here, a bit out of it in some scenes, but mostly pretty competent. Plus, the girl is pretty hot. Reason two: when it comes to horror/thrillers, I am pretty easily entertained. This movie has some of the biggest plot holes I've ever encountered, and is truly one of those films that's best if you don't think about it at all after you watch it, but there's still some thrills and some really gross gore. So if you're like me, and you can zone out to just about any horror film, get yourself a double bill of The Gore Gore Girls and I Know Who Killed Me. It'll be a fun night (especially with a few beers). 5/10

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La Collectionneuse (Eric Rohmer, 1967)

The fifth of Rohmer's Six Moral Tales that I've seen, La Collectionneuse is the story of two men, Adrien and Daniel, who stay at a friend's villa for a month in the summer, only to find that their friend has also allowed Haydee to stay. They play games with Haydee, sleep with her, are cruel to her, and think about morality, much like in Rohmer's other films. This is one of my least favorite Moral Tales, because of the uttery despicability of Adrien and Daniel, two incredibly pretentious, cruel, empty young men. Adrien is the protagonist and narrator of the story, and his rationalizations of his behavior toward Haydee (with whom he has a quasi-affair even though he has a girlfriend whom he professes to love very much) are among the most pompous I've seen in film history. Daniel and Adrien use Haydee physically and then abuse her verbally, especially in one particularly vicious scene, where the two sit a few yards from Haydee and discuss what an 'immoral slut' and 'collector' of men she is, and how she occupies the lowest rungs of society with her masculine (my word) behavior. Perhaps they see themselves in Haydee, and hate her for it? Anyway, Haydee never quite fights back, only ignores them and occasionally half-heartedly defends herself. To her character, though, she does not take their idle insults to heart, recognizing that they are just another way to fill up their empty lives by putting down others. Haydee is a likeable character, with her lack of shame for her sexual pursuits. The movie is really brought down, though, by the two main men in the film, who are so unlikeable that it just gets boring. Once Daniel leaves the film, the final third is rather boring, even, and the ending, predictable as it was, left me angry. La Collectionneuse represents the men in Rohmer's cycle at their worst: pretentious, angry, and misogynistic, traits that get tiring rather quickly. 6/10 RIYL: Truffaut at his most immature

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Valley of the Dolls (Mark Robson, 1967)

It's almost useless to write about Valley of the Dolls; at this point in movie history, it's almost impossible to enjoy it as anything but a campy cult classic. Unlike the fantastic Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, however, this isn't bad enough to go around to goodness; instead, it's just plain bad in a lot of spots, and there aren't nearly as many "dolls" as promised. But some amazing, over the top performances make this definitely worth a watch, especially a nonsober one. The story revolves around three women, Anne, who is infuriatingly proper for most of the film, Jennifer, a beautiful woman who has nothing to offer but her body, and Neely, who is a hopeless drunk and pill-popper. All three women experience varied levels of success, and varied levels of self-destruction. Anne does nothing to herself, more or less, and so is the most boring character. Jennifer, played by Sharon Tate, goes to France to do "art films," which, of course, is code for softcore porn. Neely is the most interesting of the three, as after she becomes a big singing sensation, she becomes an alcoholic and addicted to sleeping pills, speed pills, and any other pills she can get her hands on. She "cleans up," but not for long, and by the end of the movie is again a raving, boozy lunatic. Her screaming breakdown in the alley behind a theater is the best scene in the movie, and Patty Duke really gest props for going so over the top with her portrayal of Neely - without her, this would not be nearly as watchable. Another amazing performance comes from Susan Hayward, who plays Helen Lawson, an aging diva who is threatened by Neely's talent early in her career. But by the end of the movie, it's obviously the grande dame Helen who triumphs, as she understands what it means to be a diva; you can be bitchy, but within limits, and all things in moderation. This is a thoroughly enjoyable film, but the over the top situations and performances are often drowned out by the terribly screenplay and boring performances from some of the actors. I wish I had a few beers in me when I had watched it, but fun nonetheless. 6/10 RIYL: Russ Meyer, late Bette Davis

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