A Hole in My Heart (Lukas Moodysson, 2004)

Lukas Moodysson did not want A Hole in My Heart released on DVD; he did not want it to get into the hands of children and has said that if it was up to him, he would never have made a movie like this. Moodysson's got a point. A Hole in My Heart is one, if not the, most disturbing, genuinely emotionally distressing films I have ever seen. It is pretty violence-free, and the actual sex scenes are short and not very graphic, but there were moments I just could not watch the onscreen action. The movie plays like a home video. It is the story of Rickard, who makes amateur porn, his son Eric, who is withdrawn and cold to his father, and Gecko and Tess, the two leads in the porn. It might take place over a single day, it might be months. There is no definite feeling of time or place in the movie, as it takes place solely in Rickard and Eric's apartment. There are no other characters than these four people, making it intensely focused on the relationships between them. (There are a few scenes, however, where you wonder who is controlling the camera - is Moodysson himself a character?) The film is highly experimental in style; there are loud, gnashing noises, shots of very disturbing imagery (such as vaginal surgery, which Tess has had), and virtually no distinction between reality and fantasy. I was left wondering what had happened and what was in someone's mind. In one scene, Rickard's face is covered in blood, he looks to be dead, and yet he has a very meaningful conversation with Eric, the only time in the film we see them really connect. This obviously didn't happen, or did it? There are asides from all the characters about their childhoods, and how life did not turn out how they expected. These deeply depressing, emotional moments undercut the porn filming in the other room. Oh, the sex. While the actual sex is not incredibly graphic, there are lots of closeups of (real and fake) vaginas, and one scene, involving a food fight and eventual filming, made me want to throw up and/or cry. Sanna Brading, who plays Tess, gives an incredible performance, although all the actors are quite remarkable. Tess is incredibly manic, desperate to be famous, no matter what the cost. She goes from laughing to crying in a matter of moments. Because of the rawness of the film, Tess becomes a girl that we might have known in school, one who started out with good intentions and ends up in a man's apartment making porn no one might ever see. Brading is fearless in her performance, and the film is fearless in its treatment of many subjects: family, love, sex, reality television, fame, gender relations, sexual orientation, and suicide, among many others. I can't give this film a number rating, it's not that kind of movie. It's not the kind of movie that you like, per se. I would definitely recommend it for those who are looking to be pushed and questioned by a movie, people who want to think about the dark side of life and aren't afraid of disturbing images and what they might mean. I was very impressed by this film, because it stuck with me emotionally more than the superficial crying moments you can have at almost any film. This is what filmmaking is about.

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